It was another cold 10 mile run after work today. I switched to a heavier pair of gloves from the ones I wore Tuesday, an old pair of snowboarding mittens pulled from the back of my closet. Feeling fully protected from the sub freezing temperatures, I ran along to some music while thinking about this or that. At some point I passed beneath the Williamsburg Bridge. But I must have just imagined that I did because some minutes passed before I realized that the bridge was still ahead of me not too far in the distance. I could still remember running under the bridge and I could see in my mind how that little section right after the bridge looks, when Broadway hits Kent Ave at the site of that weird looking restaurant that appears so out of place. Hadn't I stopped for two SUVs while they pulled into the parking lot?
The only reasonable explanation for what must have happened is alien abduction. I must have been picked up, and a mistake was made and I was dropped back down to earth in the wrong spot. Even technologically superior aliens make mistakes. What would Dr. Octagon say about this?
Please call Mom and Dad. Naturally, they've been worried sick about you all these years. (You may have a hard time getting Mom to give up Oscar, though.) I'll see what I can do about getting the police to pull that missing persons report.
Okay, so, lessee: Joe Biden is President. The new Star Wars film is rated R because Zack Snyder refused to cut any of the nudity. Nobody uses Facebook anymore, everyone's back on MySpace again. There aren't quite as many flying cars as you'd think because the vertical-parking part of the driver's test is a real bitch. There's a civil war on The Moon because Paul Ryan's followers refused to mine air and started stealing it from Newt Gingrich's colony, and since everybody had guns, well....
And I think that brings you back up to speed, mostly.
So much has changed since I left the office to go on a run and when I "came too" at the Williamsburg Bridge. Of course I immediately checked Facebook to post something about my alien abduction, but then I saw that I didn't have any friends anymore. I thought everyone deleted me!
I was wondering why Westboro was picketing NASA with that "God hates the Moon" demonstration.
What I really want to know is whatever happened to that Taco Bell taco that was like a taco made out of a giant Dorito. Did Bloomberg outlaw it?
OH MY GOD! I'm so glad you're back, Bird!
ReplyDeletePlease call Mom and Dad. Naturally, they've been worried sick about you all these years. (You may have a hard time getting Mom to give up Oscar, though.) I'll see what I can do about getting the police to pull that missing persons report.
Okay, so, lessee: Joe Biden is President. The new Star Wars film is rated R because Zack Snyder refused to cut any of the nudity. Nobody uses Facebook anymore, everyone's back on MySpace again. There aren't quite as many flying cars as you'd think because the vertical-parking part of the driver's test is a real bitch. There's a civil war on The Moon because Paul Ryan's followers refused to mine air and started stealing it from Newt Gingrich's colony, and since everybody had guns, well....
And I think that brings you back up to speed, mostly.
So much has changed since I left the office to go on a run and when I "came too" at the Williamsburg Bridge. Of course I immediately checked Facebook to post something about my alien abduction, but then I saw that I didn't have any friends anymore. I thought everyone deleted me!
ReplyDeleteI was wondering why Westboro was picketing NASA with that "God hates the Moon" demonstration.
What I really want to know is whatever happened to that Taco Bell taco that was like a taco made out of a giant Dorito. Did Bloomberg outlaw it?